When are you getting married?

Asking questions is often easy but answering them may not necessarily be so. If you are from Nepal and you are in your mid-twenties, it is "the question" most have faced. Being in my early thirties, I encounter this question more than often. "When are you getting married?" This million dollar question has been bothering me since a few years now.  I face this question almost everywhere I go.  What I do not understand is why is everyone so interested about someone else getting married?

Family members, the girl I'm dating, sisters and close friends asking the question is understandable but what I don't understand is why your next door neighbor, your high school friend you haven't met in years, your distant relative, colleagues at work are so much interested in your marriage? Is this a generic question you tend to ask as a protocol for those who are not married yet? Or are people genuinely interested? Or is it that when it comes to marriage, everyone turns to "that aunt" whose only job is to ask people about their marriage.

This is a kind of question you can't settle for a quick answer because they come up with follow up question and a bulk of wisdom on why you should get married. At some point they seem to know about you more than yourself. Now that you have a job, what else are you waiting for? Do you have a girl or what? I hope in a few years' time they'll even start asking you if you're straight. I haven't been particularly fond of when other people are getting married, so I find it weird that so many people have the urge to know or the urge to ask.

May be you have good faith when you come up to someone and ask when are you getting married, but really??? What difference is the answer going to make? If someone is getting married, they will let you know (if you made it to the invitee list) or now we have Facebook, you can stalk on anyone without them knowing. I think this question tends to make people irritated after a while and then you might get that sarcastic answers or the look that tells you to mind your own business.

But what's wrong in asking single people when they are getting married?

As far as my logic and experience can tell, most of the singles have no clue when they are getting married. It's just like you know someday you are going to marry but have no idea when that is going to happen.

Secondly, some single may not believe in sanctity or the necessity of marriage but I don't want to debate with you on this, yet. Some people just don't want to marry and that's the end of the story I guess. It's as simple as you love a particular flavor of ice cream. (I doubt this has any particular philosophical justification besides the mere fact that you like it).

Thirdly, some are trying to find a partner and them always asking is not going to help. Marriage is not like a birthday celebration where your presence is sufficient. Thus, to those who are looking for a marriageable partner, this question doesn't offer much solace.

Fourth, the most of the people who are of marriageable age know when it's time for marriage. It's just like peeing; the one in question is the one who knows the best time to get it done. There is no point in asking someone when he/she is going to use the restroom, is it? Sometimes you'll have to hold for a while even if you are desperate so that you'll find a proper place, just like finding the right person for marriage.

Finally, I think this is a question that you need to know when and how to ask and whom to ask. It not like a normal "hello?", "how have you been?" type of question. I think people need to understand that the question they are asking along with the "why they are asking that question."

We singles understand that you are concerned about us and care about us and want to see us all settled and happy. We appreciate the fact and are glad that we have you in our life. But asking when I am getting married is the last thing you want to ask me. I know it's about my marriage, but I am sure of the answer so stop fucking asking it.

I think people should limit this question to their children, someone they are in a relationship with, and someone whose wedding they are going to sponsor. I firmly believe this question needs to be excluded from the generic question you ask every single round.

And if you were here expecting answers, then I have no clue when I am getting married. I would have loved to tell you, but it's not Christmas which always comes around at the same time of the year. Anyone who is reading the blog, do a favor to us singles, stop asking this question, please.